Step 1. Before you leave the warmth of your home in Hendon take both the rain coat and a huge umbrella with you. Rubber boots are very important as well. You have a chance to escape the rain only if you are fully equipped.
Step 2. Leave the house early in the morning right after the drizzling rain interval. Run to the Brent Cross tube station and take the train to either Morden via Bank or Kennington via Charing +. Exit at Hampstead.
Step 3. Now this is a tough part because it may rain at that very moment when you set foot on the Hampstead High Street. Before you hit the road take a good look. If it's raining, buy newspapers at the newsagent in the station and read the first page. It will stop by the time you turn the page.
Step 4. Carefully exit the station. Turn left and then left again and go Flask Walk pretending that you are heading towards the park. But ugh no, do not even think of going to the park because the rain will start pouring immediately. Mind you the sun will most probably shine very intensively and you will be tempted, but don't fall for that one. After few meters turn sharply towards the high street again.
Step 5. You have plenty of time. Have a coffee with toast at the Coffee Cup, the very oldest coffee lounge in London. You will find that the place is full but there is always a table there, just look carefully or ask a member of staff. They even have a few tables in a narrow corridor at the back. That very corridor is the best place to control the rain situation because of the roof window.
Step 6. Don't panic, it will shower severely just to make you feel miserable and anxious and think you'll miss your morning walk at the Heath. By the time you finish your toast it will be cheerful again.
Step 7. Run to the park using the Flask and Wells Walk. Once you get there, get your umbrella and rain coat ready. Wave at the sky with them in a threatening manner and you will have a whole hour to walk. It will try to frighten you with clouds and wind, but pay no attention. Do not sit on a bench, it may be provoking.
Step 8. Leave the park as quick as you can after one hour. You can't make it to the tube or train station so go to the nearest pub. Have a drink, relax and finish reading the newspapers. It will rain for about half an hour with two or three small breaks. Don't get fooled with that cheap trickery and make sure you stay in for thirty minutes.
Step 9. Slowly walk to the station and take a train to central London. Go to Royal Academy of Arts to see Palladio or Kuniyoshi. By the time you get to Picadilly it will be clear again. Take your time at the Academy. See some artwork, have a coffee or a lunch and by some postcards. You have one hour and forty five minutes.
Step 10. When you exit the building it should be sunny. But if it suddenly starts raining enter the chocolate shop La Maison du Chocolat and buy some macaron or have a miso soup at Eat restaurant in Swallow Street.
Step 11. Walk fast towards Churzon cinema on Shaftsbury Avenue to see a movie on London International Documentary Film Festival. You will get there too early, but don't even think of going shopping before the film starts since you will get soaked. Just stay in the cosy cinema, take some cashews and wine and relax while it's pouring outside. You can even have a fag because the entrance of the building is completely covered and safe. If you get bored just circulate from one bar to another, there are three of them. When the movie finishes it will start raining again, so stay in and have another drink. Best option is to be at the bar on ground level so you can observe the situation through the window. The rain will stop just for a short while so you have enough time to go to one of the bookshops at Charing Cross Road. Browse books for an hour.
Step 12. Take the bus and go to Clerkenwell for a dinner. It has to be Clerkenwell and if you try and go further, you will definitely get wet. Have a dinner with your best friends because you have more than two hours to spend. Choose a slow food restaurant.
Step 13. Carefully exit the restaurant and take a bus towards east London. You may need to walk for a bit so get your rain coat and umbrella ready to signal.
Step 14. Have a few drinks with friends in Shoreditch. Don't leave the bar before you have at least three pints or cocktails. After that you can safely move from one bar to another drunk enough not to be annoyed with the rain.
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